Tuesday, 01 July 2008

• The clingy ex-boyfriend?

  I'm experiencing something new to me in the various types of break-ups: the guy who dumps me and then calls me EVERY SINGLE DAY. And when I don't answer because I'm in a movie or at dinner with friends, he texts me. The 2nd night in a row that I did not answer (heaven forbid...), he texts me: "so we're never speaking again?"
  
  Now, I texted him the first night I didn't answer to apologize for not having time to talk. And I texted him the next morning twice in response to various messages that he sent me. It's not like I'm ignoring him. But apparently, I don't answer my phone two nights in a row, and he thinks we're never going to speak again?
  
  I went to the doctor on Friday just for a check up and it came up that I had gotten dumped since the last time I saw her. My doctor is pretty awesome so she was all "you're 22! you're better off without him!" and I was saying how it's hard to date in New York City, and she goes "well, there's plenty of guys to rebound with at least." I thought it was quite funny that she was basically encouraging me to hook up with random guys, so I texted that to my ex, I'm going to call him B from now on, to which he responded that he doesn't want me to rebound because he doesn't want me hooking up with other guys. Excuse me? You dumped me! You don't get a say in that anymore!
  
  Since then, things have gotten more and more out of hand. A few days after the "so we're never speaking again" text, he texts me "I miss you too." Now, that's kind of strange, because I didn't text him "I miss you" so I had no idea how to respond to that, and thus I didn't. Plus I was out with friends having a good time and I don't like dealing with drama when I'm having fun. But because I didn't respond, the next morning he sent me a series of over-dramatic "why aren't you responding to my texts" messages. Why is he acting like all clingy all of a sudden (more clingy than he ever was when were together)?
  
  I guess I might want to include the little fact that we spent a post-breakup romantic weekend together in Boston that included a concert at Symphony Hall and a whale watching cruise, not to mention staying in the same bed in a hotel together. We basically acted as if we were still together for the weekend, so I can see where lines might get a little blurred and definitions might become a little muddled. But I considered it one last hurrah. I thought that afterwards we would transition to being friends. Instead, half an hour after he dropped me off at my apartment post-Boston, he texted me "i miss u" (God, I hate text message grammar... It takes all the romance out of those statements). And he's called me every night since and texted me a ton. And emailed me in the middle of the day to say he was bored at work. These are things he did when we were at the peak of our relationship - sweet little things that made me go "awww... he's thinking about me." But now I'm just confused. He still speaks of "us" in the past tense, so I know he doesn't think we're back together. Didn't he dump me? Why is he being the clingy one post-breakup? Isn't the one who got dumped supposed to be doing the clinging? And here I am, thinking "oh my God, just because I don't talk to you for two nights does not mean that I'm ignoring you! Leave me alone!" Isn't he supposed to be the one that's all "stop calling me! We're broken up!"?
  
  Boys, thoughts? What is going through his crazy head?
  

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