We live in an increasingly internet-oriented world. We blog, we email, we buy things online (even groceries these days), we watch movies and tv online, we look for jobs online... So why not look for a potential boyfriend/girlfriend online?
Online dating is becoming more and more common, though it still has a major stigma in certain groups of my friends. I also have a lot of friends who've tried it and I've heard various success/horror stories. While I was originally very opposed to this, I've come to see the various possibilities through my friends. So here's my take.
Online dating is fine, but be careful. You never know who is on the other end of that computer.
1. Talk a lot before you meet. And do it on IM. It's a little easier to tell people's personalities when you're talking to them in real time. Get to know them before you agree to meet in person, but keep in mind that since you can't see their faces, they could be totally different in person and it's hard to know hat they're really like from IM.
2. Give out as little personal information as possible. Don't tell them anything specific about where you live, where you work, etc. First name, screenname, city, general job field. That's it. Don't send them a link to your facebook profile. Be vague. You don't want any stalkers, even if it sounds flattering. Just think of all the trouble of moving and changing your phone number and stuff if you acquire a stalker.
3. If you decide to meet, meet in a public place and do not go anywhere private with them. Don't go home with them. Don't go into any back alleys. Stay where other people can see you. You should do this at least for the first few times until you start to feel you can trust the person.
4. If you meet them, always make sure someone you trust knows exactly where you are going and who you will be with. Give them as much information as possible. And then call this person when you get home, so they know you got home safely.
5. Don't be afraid to block creepy people. Yes, it's kind of mean. But they're creepy and you don't want to let anyone creepy into your life.
6. If you can afford to, use an online dating site that costs money. At the very least, this makes the pool a little smaller and you know you're getting people who are employed and not living with their parents.
While I have not yet ventured into the world of online dating, I did venture into the world of online friend making a while back. It was partially as an experiment, and partially because a lot of my friends moved out of the city after they graduated college. It went surprisingly well. There were a few people who I emailed that I didn't have the best feelings about, so I didn't meet up with them. But the people I met up with were nice and normal. Two of them have become pretty close friends of mine and I've made more friends by meeting their friends and stuff.
And while I have many friends who've had successful online dating experiences, I also have a friend who has a horror story (though she continues to date online) - she dumped a guy who she was seeing for couple of weeks that she met online and he emailed her a picture of his bloody slit wrists. This is why I caution you - even if you've hung out with people and they seem perfectly normal, you never know. It takes a while to really get to know a person.
I think I may try online dating though, just to meet some new people and see what happens. I'm not looking for anything serious right now since I just got out of a relationship, so it would be fun to go out on some random dates. I will document my experiences here.
Comments (1)
Sound advice... what I find is that internet dating is much like face to face dating without the face to face. That is, I don't have to shave, brush my teeth and wear a tuxedo, and take her out to an expensive restaurant just to have a conversation with her. You get horror stories with face to face dating, too. Women that get drugged and raped on their first dates... or just really lousy dates where you sit with someone dull for hours and can't wait to get home. I accept that there is a stigma to internet dating, but if you ask me, it's the best way to go. You learn about the person before you meet them. One thing you didn't mention... you get as much out of it, as you put into it. If you hide yourself away and don't volunteer information, you rarely get much in return. And don't "venture into the world of online dating". Just go out there and have fun. Enjoy yourself. Write blogs. Chat. And if someone nice comes along and starts chatting... relax and have a good time. What's the worst that can happen? Being blocked from his blog or MSN? I'm sure you'll find someone.