So I'm starting to lose faith in this whole online dating thing. While I thought my first date (
The Frenchman) went really well, he never called after (no big deal, but kind of a blow to the ego). My second date (
The Frat Boy) was fun too, but I think this guy may like me a little too much and he's, well, not quite smart enough for my tastes. Not going to sugarcoat it. Then there was
The Tickler... *shudders.*
Now there's the guy who is planning our future together who I haven't even met. We've been talking online, and I don't even really like him, but when I blocked him on AIM, he sent me a message on OkCupid like "where have you been? Are you ok? Haven't seen you online and you haven't posted to your blog." *sigh* I should've just blocked him on OkCupid too, but I felt bad. He seems nice, albeit a little pathetic. So I unblocked him on AIM and decided maybe we could be friends. But now he IMs me all the time. And he keeps saying things like "we should go to Australia," or things that my ex used to say after we had been together for 6 months. Then, the other night, we were talking about The Office and about Jim and Pam and he goes "that will be us someday." I think I stopped breathing. What?! I tried to play it off nonchelant and I replied "I hope I never end up working in an office like that." And he goes "well I didn't mean so much the office as the ferris wheel and fireworks part." Ummm... You mean the episode where Jim almost PROPOSES to Pam?! Great... That's fabulous. I haven't even met you yet and you're already planning our engagement. *sigh* At that point I told him I wasn't looking for a relationship, just for new friends. And he was like "yeah that's fine." But with the way he is messaging me incessantly, he either likes me a lot or just has no life, neither of which I want to be true.
Also, to be honest, I'm kind of getting sick of being told how smart I am. While I normally appreciate the compliments, I would like to meet someone on OkCupid (or anywhere) that is as smart as I am. I don't want to feel like I'm constantly teaching the other person things or having to explain something I said because they don't know what it is. That gets really annoying. Because this guy too has been like "wow, you're really smart. I'm learning a lot from you." When do I get to learn from someone?! It's not like I'm a genius or anything, so it shouldn't be that hard for me to meet an equal. I'm starting to lose faith in the quality of the dating pool, at least on this website. Is there a dating website for smart people?
And there are also these two guys who "favorited" me and have been messaging me compulsively every time it takes me more than .5 seconds to turn my IM off on OkCupid (it is automatically turned on every time you log on, which is annoying). Both are hideous and one of them is WAY younger than me. Can't they take a hint that I have never responded to their messages? Apparently not...
I'm going on another first date tonight with a new guy. I'm not sure how it's going to go because he doesn't seem to have much to say about anything, but he seems nice and he looks cute in his pictures, so I'll give it a shot. If this doesn't work out though, I may give up on the online dating thing for a while.
Comments (6)
Ahh, let me tell you a funny little story.I met this guy at college. And he was funny and charming and a bit cute if not creepy. I totally nail him, haha,I wanted to sound like a guy there. Men have a tendency to fall head over heals for me as well, they also think that I am highly intelligent and a worthy catch to bring home to their mothers. And don't feel like you need to dumb yourself down for a guy btw, you've got it right, look for someone whose your equal, those are the relationships worth pursuing. But any way. After two weeks of dating, he wants to move in with me. Wants to also go to Australia with me, creepy! and practically proposes after three weeks. I broke it off as gingerly as possible. See, it happens to everyone. Don't give up on online dating,(it's kinda like when I swore of dating all together) I've known many people who found their loved ones that way. And I know you won't have a problem with it because you are a bright and intelligent woman and you know what it is you want. (or most importantly, know what you don't need.) =)
The clingy guy has probably heard that women adore that, and he's trying to play the part. Whether he's serious or acting, it's not a good idea.
"Also, to be honest, I'm kind of getting sick of being told how smart I
am. While I normally appreciate the compliments, I would like to meet
someone on OkCupid (or anywhere) that is as smart as I am"
I FUCKING KNOW!
"When do I get to learn from someone?! It's not like I'm a genius or
But to my knowledge, no, there's no such site specifically for dating. However, you'd be more likely to meet someone smart if you just went where smart people go and start debating eligible young men.
anything, so it shouldn't be that hard for me to meet an equal. I'm
starting to lose faith in the quality of the dating pool, at least on
this website. Is there a dating website for smart people?"
The problem is that most smart people are either ugly or taken.
Online dating is hit or miss...and mostly miss. I have stories of guys that would curl your hair (I think that's why mine's so curly now
) I nicknamed them, too, like you did. the three main ones were the Candy-throwing Macho Man, the Bruiser (who I've already written about), and the Ape (who was actually a nice guy, but a little too handsy for me...we're still semi-friends, amazingly.) None of them stirred any sort of attraction for me, and I was pretty appalled by two of them. The rest...well, they were guys I talked to online, but never felt any desire to actually meet...mostly because, like you, I was in search of someone who could at least keep up with my intelligence if not exceed it, and most of them seemed to fall short.
So yeah...I feel your pain, here.:-/
-Katie
i had more than a few online dates who i swore were going to call for a second date and totally never did. oh well!
I nickname my guys too! That's hilarious.
"Also, to be honest, I'm kind of getting sick of being told how smart I
am. While I normally appreciate the compliments, I would like to meet
someone on OkCupid (or anywhere) that is as smart as I am"<--also hilarious. And so true! Yuck.
The online dating pool is full of crazy people. But then again, so is the in-person dating pool. So basically, like they say, "you end up kissing a lot of frogs before you find your prince." Don't give up on life, but trying various strategies isn't a bad idea.
Oh--and the funny thing about my life (my life is pretty funny, it turns out) is that when I decide I've given up on men, that's right when a new one always seems to come along. Weird, isn't it?
@LaBellaMorena - I think that happens to everyone. As soon as you give up on finding someone, that's when you do. If only I could will myself to give up... Haha. But actually I'm kind of fine just dating various people and getting to know my preferences better right now. I just got out of a serious relationship so I don't want to be in another one for a little while. I don't think I'm ready yet.