Fate, it seems, really likes to fuck with me. Excuse my language, but there's really no better word to describe what happened to me today, as I experienced a series of mortifying moments.
I went to the Verizon store today to get my phone replaced. I handed the man my phone. He took the battery out, put the battery back in and said "oh, you have a text message."
I took the phone from him to see who it was from. It was from my soulmate. I literally gasped out loud. I thought he had left Boston for South Korea yesterday and I didn't expect to get any more text messages from him. My heart was pounding as I opened it and as I read it, I nearly dropped everything I was carrying. This is what it said:
"to my heart, and can't thank you enough for the love that you have shared with me. I love you, and I always will - no goodbyes, I'll see you soon."
My face turned bright red and I got so flustered. I almost started crying (tears of joy mind you, though also sadness because he was leaving). The Verizon guy was holding his hand out expectantly so I muttered "um, I have to take this. I'll be right back."
He loved me! And here I had been wondering if it would be too rash to say it to him. I had decided against it, but then he took the leap! I was overjoyed and filled with hope! I texted him back "I love you too. See you soon." And I'm thinking "how lucky that the text came when it did and that the guy saw it and handed my phone back, because if he hadn't it would've been lost forever when they switched my phone." Perhaps fate wasn't so cruel after all! And
melsie and
itiscomplicated were right, and he made it up to me his whole blowing me off thing and saying goodbye in a text message (although this was still a text message, but it didn't matter to me! He loved me!)
And then I got a second text message: "On the flight, moments away from the start of new adventure. You have made me who I am today, and it wouldn't be enough to say thank you. I hold you dear"
And in my flustered state, I am frantic to respond before he turns his phone off. So I reply "Same to you. Have a safe trip."
Then I hand the phone back to the Verizon guy, with a grin on my face and tears in my eyes. I'm sure he thought I was on crack.
But as I am standing there, waiting for him to activate my new phone, I have a realization. I realize that the second message was actually the first, and in that context, the way he said "you have made me who I am today," that it was in all likelihood a mass message to all of his friends.
So now I'm panicking. I just told him that I loved him... All I can think about is calling my coworker (who is also a good friend of his) and asking if he got the same message. But this Verizon guy has my phone. So now I'm getting even closer to crying and I'm taking deep breaths so that I don't start crying in the Verizon store.
Finally, my I get my phone back and I call my coworker. "Hi, really random question but did you get a message from A?" I ask, trying to sound nonchalant (we kept this from my coworkers so as not to cause office drama). He laughs, "Yeah, don't worry, I think he sent that to a bunch of people," he says, as if reassuring me that no, A is not in love with me, don't worry you silly girl. I want to cry, but I manage to muster a casual "ok, thanks. Bye." I don't think I've ever felt so stupid. Not to mention completely crushed and disappointed.
And with that I rush out of the Verizon store, my eyes absolutely burning with tears. I feel like an idiot. I seriously thought to myself "that's it. I'm done with love. This is stupid." I ran to a nearby Starbucks thinking I could lock myself in the bathroom until I had collected myself. But of course there was a line for the bathroom, so I left and went to the park, hoping the fresh air would help and that no one would notice me constantly wiping my eyes.
Stupid phone. I wish the message had been lost forever. On the one hand, I'm flattered that I was included in the list of people he sent it to. But on the other hand, I wish I had never read it because I don't think he loves me the way that I love him (likes me yes, but doesn't love me), and that's not something I want to have to face.
Comments (7)
This can go one of two ways: either he loves you, too, and you'll get a similar response, or he doesn't, in which case it will be very easy to play it off as if you meant you loved him like a friend.
Just do. not. panic. You didn't write him a love poem, or gush on and on. You sent him a text message saying you loved him. If he seems weirded out by it, like I said, just play it off as a friend-type love. And then you'll be fine. Even if he doesn't completely believe you, he'll convince himself of it. Or he'll announce his love for you, too, and it will all have turned out all right. Try not to stress, though. We've all done things like that.
-Katie
Aw, I'm so sorry. It really must be awful to get your hopes up like that.
But I don't think you should be TOO embarrassed. After all, you didn't say anything that makes you really exposed, from an objective standpoint.
Good luck!
sorry to hear that... that sucks big time. Were you on 125th?
*hug* it's alright! Really, I bet it is so much simpler then you're making it out to be. I think, or I would like to hope, that you will find a way to contact him and speak to him about this situation you're in. Don't feel the need to be clueless on where you stand with him. Your heart is such a precious thing love and if you are feeling the way you are, tearless, hopeless, then talk to him about it, somehow. Get it off your chest so you can move on or hold on. Does that make any sense? And you should have told me he was in Boston, I would have beat the answer out of him for you. lol.
he said "i love you" first.... as a group txt it was meant as friendly, but your reply ALSO could be taken as friendly or sweet. Don`t sweat it til he replies seriously to your txt.
*Hug* Don't worry about the text message. He will take it as you are being friendly.
Don't ever feel bad about telling someone how you feel...even if it makes you feel exposed and vulnerable. You just gave him a really wonderful gift. Be glad that you had the chance to do that. He's probably smiling on the other end of that text message.