Even though I think I've found the love of my life, since he's no longer in this country, I feel like I should still date. So that's what I've been doing. I like going out and meeting new people. I'm having fun going on dates. It gives me more to do and an excuse to see new things (ie the Natural History Museum). And it's a distraction so I'm not at home wallowing in self pity and loneliness. But I feel kind of bad at the same time because half the time I'm with these guys, I'm thinking about
Soulmate (I may be out, but in my mind I'm still wallowing in self pity and loneliness...). I feel like I'm less likely to give them a chance because I already have feelings for this other person. So it's not all that fair to them.
On the other hand, I can't assume he's coming back and so I do need to date and try to meet people in case he's not my soulmate after all. And it's good practice for getting to know new people, being less shy, and just kind of learning dating protocol in general.
What do you think? Is it unfair for me to date other guys when I'm in love with someone else, even if it's someone I can't have?
Comments (5)
I think you should take a little bit to just chill.
You're obviously not going to be interested in a relationship with these guys right now, no matter how nice they may be or whatever. You can still date, but be sure that the guys know that you're in it more for fun than for a serious relationship, at least for the next week or two.
I tend to agree with la_faerie_joyeuse@xanga. You can certainly date but you also need to be fair with the men you are seeing. If they're looking for a serious relationship, then you should let them know. Now, knowing what to say to them may be a little difficult. You don't want to say you're in it for 'fun' but rather you're not looking for a serious relationship right now. This is, of course, my opinion only.
@la_faerie_joyeuse@xanga - @uwrote - Ok, well I guess I'm on the right track. I've been pretty clear with all the guys I've gone on dates with recently that I'm not looking for anything serious and my OkCupid profile (which is where I'm meeting most of these guys) says "short term dating, friends, pen pals" or something to that affect as the things I'm looking for. I made sure not to check "long term dating" (or "casual sex partners" haha)
lol. Hey, you've got a steady head on your shoulders, you'll going to be fine. But do date! Dates are so much fun, that's the one thing I do miss about being single is the multitude of dates you get to go on and potentially never return the phone calls of. But I'm a bit cynical. It's like you said, it is fun to meet new people and you might never know who you'll meet. =)
Take it easy...enjoy your chance to be single!
Then go out. It's unfair to YOU not to do that.