I read
this article on CNN a while back about various therapies women with low sex drives are trying. This article made me happy because it often seems to like society doesn't care about women's sex drive and that society believes there is no such thing as sexual dysfunction in women. It's as if they don't care if women enjoy sex or not. There's still a bit of this left over attitude from long ago that women don't need to enjoy sex or be sexually satisfied (or that it's natural for women not to enjoy sex or have a sex drive). They're just there to carry a child as the product of sex.
First off, that's not true. If women weren't meant to enjoy sex, the human race would be much less reproductive. Sex is supposed to be enjoyable so that you want to do it and thus procreate. A sex drive is natural instinct. So why is it that it is almost taboo for women to enjoy sex? (for example, a woman who sleeps around is a slut but a man who sleeps around is looked upon as cool? Not fair). Or to talk about enjoying sex. Not that I'm promoting promiscuity for either gender mind you (that gets dangerous). I'm just saying that everything's really unequal sexually for men and women.
As with all gender gaps, this makes me rather angry. I want to enjoy sex and I definitely have a sex drive. And I expect a man that I am having sex with to make sure that I am enjoying it. And I'd like to think that if I don't have a sex drive for some reason in the future, there will be a viagra-like option for me so that I am still able to have a sex drive. It's time people started worrying more about women's needs too.
Comments (5)
Actually, you might try viagra... Unless I'm mistaken, it works by opening up blood vessals in the genital region, thus engorging and arousing the genitals (enabling a man to get an erection). It doesn't have any psychological effects (except possibly as a placebo). And all those effects should, theoretically, work on a woman, too. Keep that in mind for your "glory days". ^_^
But I don't really view it as a double standard. Maybe I just haven't had much experience with it, since I've only had one sexual partner, but I simply think this is something society will never really be able to dictate. It's about what you do in your relationships. So, I don't really understand what's actually causing harm to you here. As a woman who considers herself very sexual, I actually think society embraces my sexuality more than they might embrace a man's sexuality - I am allowed to flaunt my sexuality by wearing tight or revealing clothes in public, while men don't really have a similar option. Yeah, I wouldn't have the same credit if I had had multiple sexual partners, but that doesn't apply to me (and I think ANYONE with more partners than they can count on one hand needs to take a good long look at their decisions anyway.)
@la_faerie_joyeuse@xanga - I don't think that you wearing tight or revealing clothes is necessarily viewed as flaunting your sexuality. I know girls who do that and aren't that sexual but they like the male attention. I'm not saying you do, but some girls do. And a lot of times that ends up backfiring because then we are looked on more as sexual objects. And the thing that bothers me is how society - especially the media - portrays women as not liking sex (it's always the man complaining about how the wife won't have sex as often as he wants, etc) and if that's deemed as natural than nobody's going to try to come up with a solution for women who want to enjoy sex.
@hopelessromantic - I don't know, maybe it's just because I don't watch TV, but I just don't have much personal experience with that. When I dress provocatively, it's because I like the way it looks, and I make sure everyone knows that's why I'm dressing that way. I make my own rules without really paying much attention to society or whatever.
But maybe I'm the exception, not the norm.
This post brought several thoughts to mind - but I can't seem to bring any of them into a cohesive comment.
Generally I think you are correct about the historical perspective.
I think control is an enormous factor - both from society's views of women and from "The Church"
I'm not sure anything will change on a grand scale until women decide to own the attitude that they can and should enjoy sex. Too many women still don't think good sex applies to them in some way or another. I'm not sure a woman who hasn't experienced good sex knows what she is missing and knows to demand more?
sorry about the scattered thoughts!
I personally feel that the important part of the act is the partner's enjoyment. I state this throughout my other blog and remain firm in this thought still.
Should you enjoy it? Heck yeah.
For the guys, remember -- if the women enjoy it, they'll more than likely make your experience that much more enjoyable.
As for the history of this, I agree that it was wrong and I am glad everyone is waking up to it.
Relating back to your 'lights on / lights off' post, this keeps it in line with my response. Knowing my female partner enjoys the romantic or intimate moments makes it even more enjoyable for me.
Otherwise, I might as well break out the blow up doll.
(Wait. Not that I have one.)
(Um, not that it is wrong for anyone to have one either.)
(What a nice day out. I hope it is just as nice this weekend!)
Speaking of which, enjoy your weekend.