When I was younger (circa 8th-10th grade) I used to
love playing matchmaker. I don't know why. I guess I just wanted my friends to be happy but I wish I had learned earlier to keep my big fat nose out of it. It never works out well if you try to force it. Even if you think two people are perfect for each other, you can't
try. It has to happen naturally. There's nothing wrong with introducing two people you think might be compatible. But don't even hint that you think they might work romantically because the second one of them gets a whiff of a set up, the whole game changes. And if you try to manipulate the situation at all, it will only end badly.
I learned my lesson about playing matchmaker after it repeatedly blew up in my face. And then I re-learned it when I was on the other end in college (I was the one being set up). A friend of mine, Jack, still loves to try to play matchmaker but he really sucks at it. Jack went through his facebook friends with a single friend of his, Nate. Apparently, Nate pointed out me as someone he thought was attractive. And me being single too and one of Jack's really close friends, Jack thought this was perfect. I don't know what possessed me to agree to give it a shot. I should've known better. But I was single and I felt like I had nothing to lose by agreeing to it. Boy was I wrong. Despite Nate saying he wanted to be set up, he was really still in love with some other girl who didn't want him, but I didn't figure that one out until after I started liking him... That was a rather unpleasant situation and everything kind of blew up. Jack and I stopped speaking for a while because he thought I was being ungrateful for his efforts when I said next time he wants to set me up, he shouldn't tell me that he's setting me up and he should make sure the guy isn't in love with someone else... But I wasn't being ungrateful. I was just trying to explain what went wrong and give him matchmaking tips since he seems to love doing it so much.
Despite my current aversion for matchmaking, however, I seem to be really good at it. I can't tell you how many couples have met through me (though I had no intention of hooking them up romantically at the time). And this I still enjoy. It's fun to watch romance bloom, especially when it's two of your friends and you know you played a small role in it. And hey, if you don't actively try to hook them up, they can't get mad at you if it doesn't work out because they just happened to meet through you and you had nothing more to do with it. So that is the best route. Introduce people and let what happens happen. If you try to force or manipulate it, it won't work.
Comments (2)
Exactly.
Every couple that I've ever known to get together, be happy and actually stay together has happened when everyone involved lets things happen naturally. Though, it doesn't help when there's a common (mis)conception that all couples plan and connive to get their single friends together, no matter what...
I completely agree. Everything about being set up feels so... forced, so unnatural.
Having said that, would you mind setting me up with someone? :P