My ex-boyfriend, The Army Guy, recently asked me to get back together with him. As was fitting based on how our relationship was, this happened after we had a huge fight. As always, it's also really complicated because he's leaving for 6 months of army training in a few weeks. So I said no. But this is not the only reason I said no.
I am generally very opposed to people getting back together after they've broken up. Most of the time, when people get back together, they don't address the problems in their relationship that caused them to break up in the first place. They kind of just pretend those problems didn't exist and then end up having the same problems all over again. Sometimes I suppose it can work. Time passes and people change, so maybe there can be successful reunions. But most of the time people just aren't willing to put the work in to resolving the issues from their previous relationship.
I told my ex that we could talk about it when he got back (if I'm still single of course) for this very reason - we have a lot of work to do. A lot would need to change from the way our first relationship went, and that is going to require time and hard work. It won't happen if we get back together right before he leaves. We need more than a few weeks together to be back on solid enough ground that I can withstand 6 months waiting for him. And even though I'm willing to talk about it and maybe try when he gets back, I have to say I'm skeptical. But I do care about him a lot still and if we could work hard enough to change the things that went wrong before, I think we could have a really great relationship. So I think it's worth a shot. But we'll see what happens. A lot could change in 6 months.
Comments (2)
u have plenty of time...so why bother...and good wishes....hope it works out..
It sounds like a well thought-out decision. Good luck!