I find it interesting that the top two health topics for men on WebMD right now are: 1. Weight Loss Boosts Sex and 2. Frequent Masturbation. For women, the top two are: 1. Bad Marriages and 2. Why hair goes grey.
I think this very keenly shows the different expectations between what men are supposed to worry about and what women are supposed to worry about. 7 of the top 12 for men are about sex. For women, only one is (#6) and it's called "why skip sex" and it's about the most common reasons people give for avoiding sex with their partner.
It really bothers me that there's this common misconception that women don't or aren't supposed to enjoy sex, and that men need it all the time. And the worst part is that it's totally ok for men to talk about sex, to sleep with many people, to need sex. But if a woman needs sex, or talks about sex, or sleeps with many people, she's a slut. And I feel like many women who sleep with lots of men do it for validation of their self-esteem and not because they actually really are enjoying the sex.
Not that I ever really read Cosmo or any of that other trashy shit, but it seems to me all the articles I've seen about sex are "99 new ways to please your man" or something focused on his needs, his wants, what you can do to spice things up for him. Why are we taught from a young age that we aren't supposed to enjoy sex? Sex is never for us. It's to keep our men pleased. And hell, we're often to blame for marriages going bad or for men cheating on their wives: we weren't pleasing HIS sexual desires. We wouldn't give him what HE needed. And women are taught very early on that they hate sex. In movies, in TV shows, in films, it's always the women avoiding the sex, and them men complaining to their friends how their wife won't sleep with them anymore.
I'm going to share something very personal now. maybe it's an overshare, but it's ok because 99.99999% of you don't know who I am. I have never enjoyed sex. Or well, I enjoyed the foreplay and I enjoyed being physically close to the guy that I loved. But it didn't feel good, not the way it could. And I'm starting to realize it was all in my head. I was afraid to enjoy it. I was afraid for it to feel good. I thought that wasn't how it was supposed to be. Women are just supposed to please the men, right? We weren't supposed to get any enjoyment out of it. I wouldn't want to be considered a slut. Well, that stops here. I'm ending the cycle. I want to enjoy sex and take pride in enjoying sex.
Comments (2)
I always felt like it was the opposite: men were supposed to please the women while women sit back and enjoy it. I've never had sex and I don't plan on doing it until I'm married, so I can't tell you from firsthand experience or anything. But it just always seemed that way to me. I do agree with you on one thing, though: I think men DO have more fun during sex than women do.
Shoot...Most of the girls I've been out with enjoyed sex...seriously. You are right! My girlfriend is actually afraid of trying anything because she might like it and actually want more. Damn media. lol =P
Yay for enjoying sex!