So my ex, the army guy, and I are kind of back together (it's complicated what with him being away for training for six months and living in Pennsylvania. We won't be officially back together until he moves to New York).
The thing is, he's being super sweet right now. He is constantly telling me how much he loves me, misses me, wants to be with me, etc. We had this conversation where I told him I much preferred this to the whole him being a jerk thing, and he was like "k, I wasn't sure. I was afraid if I am too nice to you, you'll lose interest because girls only like jerks." Honestly, I'm so much happier than I was before and I really do love the new way he is acting.
Girls like nice guys. I'm so sick of hearing that we don't. Yes, many girls date jerks. But that's just because most guys are jerks
The problem is, most "nice guys" suck at the whole pursuit thing. They do things like let the girl call them with all their problems and they sit and listen while the girl talks about other guys. That's how they end up in the "friend zone" as people seem to be calling it these days. Once you're actually dating a girl, then you can be the guy she calls with all her problems. But before that, it's not a good idea. Not that I'm saying you should be a jerk, but before you're dating a girl, you have to make sure you don't let her think of you "like a brother" or "as her best friend." Some girls go for the whole dating your best friend thing, but most girls don't. If she's talking to you about other guys, you're done. Just forget about her because she will most likely never date you.
But once you start dating, you can stop keeping her at a distance, you can be there for her, you can be the nice guy you are and she'll just think she's so lucky to have found such a good guy.
Comments (4)
I agree with your post. There's also the jerks who pretend to be the "nice" guy and then in a matter of days to couple of weeks become jerks.
This is very encouraging.
I've found myself a nice guy!
It took him quite some time to ask me out though...
Sorry but a lot of girls do not like nice guys. I used to think like you do until I learned my lesson. I've been in a long back and forth relationship. She told me she loved me and all that and we finally went out on a date. We kissed, it was very spontaneous. We held hands and cuddled and talked and flirt with each other the whole time. Just hours after i got home she called me and told me to forget about her it wont work. Then she changed her mind two days later told me she loved me told me about her dream where we got married and made love on our wedding night under the stars. Then she rejected me again. She said kissing me felt gross and I was like a brother to her, those were her exact words. Then I said maybe you think I'm like a brother thanks i guess but I'm not actually your brother why do you think Im your brother. Then she said your always there for me your nice to me. So I said that every time I was nice all the times I tried to convince you to eat when you were depressed and not eating and that you shouldnt kill yourself and all the times i came to watch you in your plays and all the times I told you you had a nice singing voice and the times i stood up for you when people made fun of you in high school and all the times I told you you were smart when you doubted yourself and all the times i said you were beautiful when you doubted yourself(she really is I didn't make that up) and the time that I carved you a bamboo flute for your birthday(she plays flute) and I got a huge cut on my hand in the process and when I got mad at the drama teacher who wouldnt let you play lead part because she wanted to give it to the rich kid and all the times I was there to listen to you vent and give you a hug all those times I was becoming less attractive and gross to kiss. Im not obsessed with sex but I am a human being with natural human desires. I regret that being nice to her seemed to ruin my chances because I really did love her. After all those years of trying to help her feel better about herself I said Your a bitch, does that make me more attractive does it undo some of that icky niceness.